Novelty Events Pillows

Unsuccessful holiday ideas - Happy Slug Day.

Dog Walking Services

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

Raincloud Umbrella

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

Advocado

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Hay Rides $10

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

Cash Machines From Across the Land

Peel poker.

"This new phone app for opening the beer is great, Bruce!"

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

Crane Game. Ball Game.

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

BOOKS ON VIDEO/BOOKS ON TAPE/READ YOUR OWN.

Family heirlooms that will never make it onto the mantelpiece.

LOL. Larry Lee Oppenheimer is no fan of monogrammed underwear.

Elton John

Inflatable Hands with Index and Middle fingers showing on sale for spectators at a Sports Stadium Event

Ball Pool Peril

It's Oog's latest invention — the 'thumb-hitter.'

Thank you for calling ace novelty..and remember, think outside the box!

"Whoever said 'There's nothing new under the sun' first, was a hypocrite."

Bumper Limos

Businessman with novelty in and out baskets.

Leaking backpack.

"Ed's not really into binge watching...he just can't find the remote."

"Rats! It doesn't work...but why?? Why??!!"