Novelty Ties Pillows

'Clearly every one of these suspects has stolen my identity.'

Dog Walking Services

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Raincloud Umbrella

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

Advocado

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

Hay Rides $10

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

Cash Machines From Across the Land

Peel poker.

"We used up our planet's energy source and we're here to hijack yours. Where do you keep all your coffee?"

"This new phone app for opening the beer is great, Bruce!"

Crane Game. Ball Game.

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

LOL. Larry Lee Oppenheimer is no fan of monogrammed underwear.

Elton John

Family heirlooms that will never make it onto the mantelpiece.

Ball Pool Peril

Inflatable Hands with Index and Middle fingers showing on sale for spectators at a Sports Stadium Event

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

Businessman with novelty in and out baskets.

Bumper Limos

Leaking backpack.

Thank you for calling ace novelty..and remember, think outside the box!

"Rats! It doesn't work...but why?? Why??!!"

Jurassic Pork

"Relax, just watch out for his left hook."

Spontaneous Combustion Man - Open with care

"He must like you. He wants you to share his whoopie cushion."