Novelty Experiences Pillows

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

"Hi chums, I'll try anything once."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Dog Walking Services

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'What clan do you belong to?'

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

Crap from the future.

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

Advocado

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

Hay Rides $10

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Useless add-ons.

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

Cash Machines From Across the Land

"This new phone app for opening the beer is great, Bruce!"

'Sorry, Frank, I know this is your favourite lake, but I just can't eat fish who smoke cigarettes.'

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

Mohammad's motors

Pirate playing pool using his artificial leg as a pool stick.

Goldie Locks and the three beers.

Family heirlooms that will never make it onto the mantelpiece.

Toenail clipping missile.