Novelty Experiences Mugs

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

"Hi chums, I'll try anything once."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Dog Walking Services

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'What clan do you belong to?'

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

Crap from the future.

Advocado

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

Useless add-ons.

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

Hay Rides $10

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Cash Machines From Across the Land

'Sorry, Frank, I know this is your favourite lake, but I just can't eat fish who smoke cigarettes.'

"This new phone app for opening the beer is great, Bruce!"

"We used up our planet's energy source and we're here to hijack yours. Where do you keep all your coffee?"

Peel poker.

Mohammad's motors

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

'Don't you think it's just a little weird to have a cemetery for houseplants?!'

Crane Game. Ball Game.

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

"I'm still not sure if we've hired a creative genius or a complete cretin."

Pirate playing pool using his artificial leg as a pool stick.

"What'd you think the zipper on my face was for?"