Novelty Dining Experience Seeker T-Shirts

'A cheeky red?'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"I come here for the pepper."

"Is the MSG local?"

'How is the water prepared?'

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

"Our sommelier - years of experience in French urinals."

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

'Who orderes the roasted chicken plate and who ordered the soup?'

'You made me jump,'

'We don't bring you anything. That's the surprise part.'

"Our Fettuccine is eaten with spoon and fork. Angle Hair gets a comb and scissors."

Roadkill Restaurant

Odd Spas

'Soufle, can I have the blueprint?.'

'I don't know if you're a mathematician but my wife's not happy with her Poisson distribution.'

At home with the leeches: 'No, you can't have a Quorn tartlet - just drink your blood and be quiet!'

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

"Guys, guys! He's pointing at me! This is great, I've never been picked first before!"

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

Martian restaurant and take away

"To prevent any complaints like "when will our ordered food be served" guests can now follow the work in the kitchen on TV."

"While you've been making your mind up, the Early Bird special when up three bucks."