Novelty Dining Experience Seeker Mugs

I must hose you down before you prepare my meal. Disinfectant. We could deliver it to you if you just put a bridge over your moat. Warning. Do not cross.

'A cheeky red?'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"I come here for the pepper."

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"Is the MSG local?"

'How is the water prepared?'

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

I'm not going to send over my manager just because there's a fly in your soup. What about sending over the fly's manager.

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

"Our sommelier - years of experience in French urinals."

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

'Who orderes the roasted chicken plate and who ordered the soup?'

Odd Spas

'We don't bring you anything. That's the surprise part.'

'You made me jump,'

'Soufle, can I have the blueprint?.'

"Our Fettuccine is eaten with spoon and fork. Angle Hair gets a comb and scissors."

Roadkill Restaurant

'I don't know if you're a mathematician but my wife's not happy with her Poisson distribution.'

At home with the leeches: 'No, you can't have a Quorn tartlet - just drink your blood and be quiet!'

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

You can substitute broccoli for the asparagus, but you can't substitute another glass of wine for the fries.

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

Martian restaurant and take away

"Guys, guys! He's pointing at me! This is great, I've never been picked first before!"

"To prevent any complaints like "when will our ordered food be served" guests can now follow the work in the kitchen on TV."