Note Whisperer Gifts

'I told you not to clean it with soap and water.'

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Concert Pianist.

Organ Player

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

"Uh-Oh..."

Bassoons.

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

"I will now fend off questions from the audience."

Business cartoon showing sales declining so much that they bounce off the floor.

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

"I'm sorry, Walter, but I need room to write."

A woman playing a keyboard

"I'm sorry, JB, we still haven't worked out how we did it."

"Before invasive species, the only things I could grow were weeds and mildew."

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

Despite the economic downturn, sales are as good as ever.

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

"And here is where we started putting profits before people."

Man rotates profit chart so it shows growth not loss.

Reading

Catastrophe Risk Insurance

Sales tied in knots

'Unfortunately, we were a little off-target again this quarter.'

"Graphs are like EKGs, they show the health of a company."

"Actually, this is where there was a slight earth tremor."

The World's best Camouflage Store.

"Our sales have slumped so much, we now have a couch for them."

"Any beaver can cut down trees, but marquetry, now that's art."

Park cleaner orders leaf to come down.

"I'm in here, rereading the great poets, myself among them."