Nostalgic Writer Gifts

A quill pen in case the computer crashes.

Letter Collecting Nerd

"I don't care about the rating on Goodreads. We're reading Cinderella!"

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

Abandoning the computer for a typewriter.

"Hipsters"

Toy Shops and Educated Children

'It's worse than we thought: You've got termites.'

Kindergarten. Today; Simon Says. I don't know who this "Simon Says" is, but he could make a killing in product endorsements!

"Trump vs Biden. Chiefs vs 49ers. On the brink of war with Iran. Didn't we do this all in 2020?"

"We've intended to ask you about it for some time, Doctor, but never got around to it."

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

How Grandma Sees the Remote

The End of the World is postponed from 2000 to 2112.

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

"I've learned from the past. Now can we move on?"

'Call Me Old-Fashioned, But I Liked It Better When They Didn't Shave Their Armpits.'

'Peter Rabbit and his sisters, Floppy Disc and Mopsy.'

'Lost Diary'

'Remember the good old days when the research department consisted of some studious types with a stack of annual reports?'

Print Suicide

"Hi Mom...do you remember in which grade I was given an award for my excellent performance of the song about little ducks?"

'Sir, we need to upgrade our technology. We've used up our last roll of ticker tape.'

"I enjoy books a lot more now that I can consistently color inside the lines."

"But if I don't learn handwriting, how will I be able to read Grandma's letters?"

'Do you feel as foolish as I do, having a conference with Billy's teaching machine?'

'I must admit, this family reunion hasn't really lived up to my expectations.'

"Gentlemen, on my signal, walk ten paces, turn around, and try to remember why you came out here."

'How kids really saw Mr Robinson in computer classes.'

'Humph! When I was your age, I had to do my homework in front of a black and white.'

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

Every time I get a postcard from your brother, I regret that I carved him out of driftwood.

"This house has been in my family for a considerable period of time."

Eddie longed for the days when kids played at recess instead of waiting for YouTube moments.