Nostalgic Thinkers Gifts

'That's Samuelson. He's been with the company since Day One!'

"Laugh if you will, but my kind once ruled the earth."

'Call Me Old-Fashioned, But I Liked It Better When They Didn't Shave Their Armpits.'

"I need attention! Does anybody have any?"

'Life seemed so much simpler in the old days, dear...'

'I think I liked it better back when there were only three networks insulting our intelligence.'

They all thought they'd be astronauts...instead they're all accountants.

I'm not interested in buying new technology. What's wrong with me? Don't worry. I went through a brief period in college where I wasn't attracted to women. I didn't want to date or even have flings. It was a dark, horrible abyss that felt like it would never, ever end! How is this helping? Red Maxim repeatedly until it passes.

"It reminds me of the very first ad that ever swayed me into buying something I didn't really want."

"It's just, I thought I could and then I did. But now what?"

'Yesterday's work ethic ... Today's don't care ethic.'

'If all the classes use computers, why am I still the eraser cleaning monitor?'

'I hate these new DVD's, I can't figure out how to rewind them..'

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

'I had a fine home, a good job, a wonderful wife...and 13 kids.'

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

Toy Shops and Educated Children

Letter Collecting Nerd

Kindergarten. Today; Simon Says. I don't know who this "Simon Says" is, but he could make a killing in product endorsements!

"Trump vs Biden. Chiefs vs 49ers. On the brink of war with Iran. Didn't we do this all in 2020?"

How Grandma Sees the Remote

The End of the World is postponed from 2000 to 2112.

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

'Lost Diary'

'Remember the good old days when the research department consisted of some studious types with a stack of annual reports?'

'Sir, we need to upgrade our technology. We've used up our last roll of ticker tape.'

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

'Do you feel as foolish as I do, having a conference with Billy's teaching machine?'

"I enjoy books a lot more now that I can consistently color inside the lines."

"Gentlemen, on my signal, walk ten paces, turn around, and try to remember why you came out here."

"I must be getting old. I've forgotten why I came down the stairs."

Post Office: Why Not E-Mail It?

'Someday, when our pre-frontal cortexes are fully developed, we'll look back on this and shake our heads.'

"They make us learn reading, writing, and arithmetic to prepare us for a world of videotapes, computer terminals and calculators."

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