Nostalgic Academics Gifts

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

Toy Shops and Educated Children

Letter Collecting Nerd

"Trump vs Biden. Chiefs vs 49ers. On the brink of war with Iran. Didn't we do this all in 2020?"

Kindergarten. Today; Simon Says. I don't know who this "Simon Says" is, but he could make a killing in product endorsements!

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

"The first week of school is just review. You know. Scenes from last year's episode."

How Grandma Sees the Remote

The End of the World is postponed from 2000 to 2112.

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

'Call Me Old-Fashioned, But I Liked It Better When They Didn't Shave Their Armpits.'

'Lost Diary'

'Remember the good old days when the research department consisted of some studious types with a stack of annual reports?'

'Sir, we need to upgrade our technology. We've used up our last roll of ticker tape.'

'Do you feel as foolish as I do, having a conference with Billy's teaching machine?'

"I enjoy books a lot more now that I can consistently color inside the lines."

Lambs to the Slaughter

"Gentlemen, on my signal, walk ten paces, turn around, and try to remember why you came out here."

Post Office: Why Not E-Mail It?

"I must be getting old. I've forgotten why I came down the stairs."

'Someday, when our pre-frontal cortexes are fully developed, we'll look back on this and shake our heads.'

"They make us learn reading, writing, and arithmetic to prepare us for a world of videotapes, computer terminals and calculators."

They all thought they'd be astronauts...instead they're all accountants.

'Dad's old school teacher was really strict. He still has to go back every night, to finish his detention!'

Warning: Contents may settle over time.

"Big choices today Mr. retired board of directors. 2 ply or 3 ply?"

"This is the coldest winter I can remember."

"I worry about today's kids, all they want to do is sit in the cave and stare at the fire."

When he was 16, Ed's dad gave him his choice between a car and a computer. Now he sits, busted down, far from the edge of the info superhighway!

Golden Oldies: "Hey! Remember this great chart from the nineties?"

'That's funny - the computer said we had mail..'

'How about if we choose teams based on who has the coolest stamp collection.'

"My jacket blurbs used to have such conviction, he thought to himself wistfully."

"The year may be over, but it'll be dragged back up on history tests for years to come."