Nostalgic Students Gifts

I couldn't remember who the dickens wrote David Copperfield and Oliver Twist.

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"Trump vs Biden. Chiefs vs 49ers. On the brink of war with Iran. Didn't we do this all in 2020?"

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

Just our luck...old school crime translation classes!

"The first week of school is just review. You know. Scenes from last year's episode."

How Grandma Sees the Remote

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

'Remember the good old days when the research department consisted of some studious types with a stack of annual reports?'

'Sir, we need to upgrade our technology. We've used up our last roll of ticker tape.'

"I enjoy books a lot more now that I can consistently color inside the lines."

'Do you feel as foolish as I do, having a conference with Billy's teaching machine?'

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

Post Office: Why Not E-Mail It?

Lambs to the Slaughter

"I must be getting old. I've forgotten why I came down the stairs."

'Someday, when our pre-frontal cortexes are fully developed, we'll look back on this and shake our heads.'

"They make us learn reading, writing, and arithmetic to prepare us for a world of videotapes, computer terminals and calculators."

'Dad's old school teacher was really strict. He still has to go back every night, to finish his detention!'

Warning: Contents may settle over time.

When he was 16, Ed's dad gave him his choice between a car and a computer. Now he sits, busted down, far from the edge of the info superhighway!

"I worry about today's kids, all they want to do is sit in the cave and stare at the fire."

"Big choices today Mr. retired board of directors. 2 ply or 3 ply?"

"This is the coldest winter I can remember."

Golden Oldies: "Hey! Remember this great chart from the nineties?"

'That's funny - the computer said we had mail..'

"The year may be over, but it'll be dragged back up on history tests for years to come."

'In today's electronics world, printed books have become historical and museum pieces.'

"You really miss the old grandfather, don't you dear."

Home for the Holidays

"I miss Nixon."

"Coot. How many times has he said that?"