Nostalgic Educator Gifts

'Ms. Worden, please go to the library stacks and bring me a few education journals from the 70s. It seems everything old is new again.'

'It's okay if you got a bad grade, son. They don't even teach you in school anymore.'

"My grandma needs reading glasses to read. I guess they only taught writing and 'rithmetic back in her day."

'Didn't you pay attention in class either?'

'What sort of upgrades did you have when you started teaching?'

"I liked 'class dismissed' better than 'please log off and exit'."

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

Toy Shops and Educated Children

Letter Collecting Nerd

"Trump vs Biden. Chiefs vs 49ers. On the brink of war with Iran. Didn't we do this all in 2020?"

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

"The first week of school is just review. You know. Scenes from last year's episode."

How Grandma Sees the Remote

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

'Call Me Old-Fashioned, But I Liked It Better When They Didn't Shave Their Armpits.'

'Lost Diary'

'Remember the good old days when the research department consisted of some studious types with a stack of annual reports?'

'Sir, we need to upgrade our technology. We've used up our last roll of ticker tape.'

"I enjoy books a lot more now that I can consistently color inside the lines."

'Do you feel as foolish as I do, having a conference with Billy's teaching machine?'

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

Lambs to the Slaughter

Post Office: Why Not E-Mail It?

"I must be getting old. I've forgotten why I came down the stairs."

"He turned on, dropped out and never came back, it's 50 years since woodstock and he still thinks that's a mirror."

'Someday, when our pre-frontal cortexes are fully developed, we'll look back on this and shake our heads.'

"They make us learn reading, writing, and arithmetic to prepare us for a world of videotapes, computer terminals and calculators."

'Dad's old school teacher was really strict. He still has to go back every night, to finish his detention!'

Warning: Contents may settle over time.

They all thought they'd be astronauts...instead they're all accountants.

When he was 16, Ed's dad gave him his choice between a car and a computer. Now he sits, busted down, far from the edge of the info superhighway!

"I worry about today's kids, all they want to do is sit in the cave and stare at the fire."

"Big choices today Mr. retired board of directors. 2 ply or 3 ply?"

"This is the coldest winter I can remember."

Golden Oldies: "Hey! Remember this great chart from the nineties?"