Nostalgic Historian Gifts

The End of the World is postponed from 2000 to 2112.

'Here is my report card. For reference here is your report card, I found in the attic, when you were in the same grade.'

Extra! Extra! Internet is putting us out of business!

'Of course History was easy for you. There was a lot less of it when you were my age.'

'How about if we choose teams based on who has the coolest stamp collection.'

'We also kept the old backup system, just in case.'

"Did you just say ROLL ON the long summer evenings?"

"On the other hand, we've had a lot of wonderful years in the tourist business."

"You put it on the line like this...then the rays of the sun dry it!"

Man Angry at Clock

"It was a mom-and-pop, but we inherited it."

As old age encroached, Arthur was glad to have so many memories to draw upon.

'My body was a temple, now it's the Acropolis.'

'I never thought I'd say this, but I miss George Bush Senior's lips.'

'I think it's about time McFergle retired -- he remembers the Lusitania.'

'It's very public-spirited to write your congressman, Millard, but Joe McCarthy has been dead for years!'

The Great Chartist Demonstration. No. VIII. - An agreeable duty.

"Gentlemen, on my signal, walk ten paces, turn around, and try to remember why you came out here."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

'Big audio gear is coming back!'

"String ... you mean it doesn't have a remote controller to operate it?"

"Honey! Where are my lucky Incredible Hulk board meeting socks?!?"

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

"We're airship people, not mega-airship people."

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

'It's one of these new phones that takes photographs.'