Nostalgic Letter Writer Gifts

"Your Nana and I met as pen pals."

'I'm just going to Global Village dear to post my email.'

Quill

"Nobody bothers to write anymore ... "

"I don't care about the rating on Goodreads. We're reading Cinderella!"

"Dear Wendy, please excuse the tardiness of my response to your recent tweet from Hoboken."

Abandoning the computer for a typewriter.

Letter Collecting Nerd

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

"I've learned from the past. Now can we move on?"

'Lost Diary'

'Peter Rabbit and his sisters, Floppy Disc and Mopsy.'

"But if I don't learn handwriting, how will I be able to read Grandma's letters?"

'I'm so glad this bedtime story comes in audio.'

'I still write all my novels longhand.'

"I don't know the letter carrier's name, but I can't help thinking of him as 'Bill'."

"We live so far away that the postman posts our mail to us."

Bib's E-Book Readers.

Reading the love-letter

"My jacket blurbs used to have such conviction, he thought to himself wistfully."

"I'm old enough to remember when people thought retirement had something to do with not having a job. Don't laugh! We used to believe all sorts of ridiculous stuff!"

'Not more junk mail!'

'Is this where you send stuff offline?'

'He's a man of few words. Words to the editor not included.'

'Of course you did better when you went to school. That was before the information age.'

'I used to be somebody. . . I used to be a contender. . .'

"I've torn up the questionnaire but am using the lovely pen you sent me"

'Once upon a time...'

A quill pen in case the computer crashes.

20 years as Stamp Club Chaorman and they send my retirement card by E-MAIL.

"You know you're old when you have to warm up just to take out the garbage."

"That's the only letter you received in the mail. Kids no longer write letters. They email or text."

'I don't need to check, sir, I'm positive we don't have any pop-up books for kids.'

'With all this fuss should we buy a typewriter in case we get raided?'

'No, I mean, what's a 'letter'?'