Nostalgic Novelist Gifts

"My jacket blurbs used to have such conviction, he thought to himself wistfully."

'Lost Diary'

Rust in Piece - Second Hand Car Salesman.

"I don't care about the rating on Goodreads. We're reading Cinderella!"

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

Trilby - 'The old studio'.

"Hipsters"

Toy Shops and Educated Children

Paul goes home for the holidays

Letter Collecting Nerd

'It's worse than we thought: You've got termites.'

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

"We've intended to ask you about it for some time, Doctor, but never got around to it."

How Grandma Sees the Remote

The End of the World is postponed from 2000 to 2112.

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

"I've learned from the past. Now can we move on?"

'Call Me Old-Fashioned, But I Liked It Better When They Didn't Shave Their Armpits.'

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

'Peter Rabbit and his sisters, Floppy Disc and Mopsy.'

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'

'Remember the good old days when the research department consisted of some studious types with a stack of annual reports?'

"Hi Mom...do you remember in which grade I was given an award for my excellent performance of the song about little ducks?"

'Sir, we need to upgrade our technology. We've used up our last roll of ticker tape.'

'Do you feel as foolish as I do, having a conference with Billy's teaching machine?'

"I enjoy books a lot more now that I can consistently color inside the lines."

"Gentlemen, on my signal, walk ten paces, turn around, and try to remember why you came out here."

'How kids really saw Mr Robinson in computer classes.'

Cinderella mopping up

'I must admit, this family reunion hasn't really lived up to my expectations.'

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

'Humph! When I was your age, I had to do my homework in front of a black and white.'

Tom slowly started to realize that romantic gestures of the early 90's didn't work anymore.