Nostalgic Novelist Mugs

"My jacket blurbs used to have such conviction, he thought to himself wistfully."

'Lost Diary'

Rust in Piece - Second Hand Car Salesman.

"I don't care about the rating on Goodreads. We're reading Cinderella!"

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

Trilby - 'The old studio'.

"Hipsters"

Toy Shops and Educated Children

Letter Collecting Nerd

Paul goes home for the holidays

'It's worse than we thought: You've got termites.'

Kindergarten. Today; Simon Says. I don't know who this "Simon Says" is, but he could make a killing in product endorsements!

"We've intended to ask you about it for some time, Doctor, but never got around to it."

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

How Grandma Sees the Remote

The End of the World is postponed from 2000 to 2112.

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

"I've learned from the past. Now can we move on?"

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

'Call Me Old-Fashioned, But I Liked It Better When They Didn't Shave Their Armpits.'

'Peter Rabbit and his sisters, Floppy Disc and Mopsy.'

Print Suicide

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'

'Remember the good old days when the research department consisted of some studious types with a stack of annual reports?'

"Hi Mom...do you remember in which grade I was given an award for my excellent performance of the song about little ducks?"

'Sir, we need to upgrade our technology. We've used up our last roll of ticker tape.'

"I enjoy books a lot more now that I can consistently color inside the lines."

'Do you feel as foolish as I do, having a conference with Billy's teaching machine?'

'Humph! When I was your age, I had to do my homework in front of a black and white.'

"Gentlemen, on my signal, walk ten paces, turn around, and try to remember why you came out here."

"This house has been in my family for a considerable period of time."

Tom slowly started to realize that romantic gestures of the early 90's didn't work anymore.

'I must admit, this family reunion hasn't really lived up to my expectations.'

Every time I get a postcard from your brother, I regret that I carved him out of driftwood.