Nostalgic Novelists Gifts

Am I sleeping? Is this a dream? I am the Ghost of Christmas Past! Yeah, right. It's November. Obviously. Scheduling conflict. I'm backed up with cheapskates this year. Not buying it. This is just a bad dream. Work with me here. I'm getting an early start!

"I don't care about the rating on Goodreads. We're reading Cinderella!"

Trilby - 'The old studio'.

"Hipsters"

Letter Collecting Nerd

Paul goes home for the holidays

'It's worse than we thought: You've got termites.'

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

"We've intended to ask you about it for some time, Doctor, but never got around to it."

The End of the World is postponed from 2000 to 2112.

"I've learned from the past. Now can we move on?"

'Call Me Old-Fashioned, But I Liked It Better When They Didn't Shave Their Armpits.'

'Lost Diary'

'Peter Rabbit and his sisters, Floppy Disc and Mopsy.'

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'

Print Suicide

"Hi Mom...do you remember in which grade I was given an award for my excellent performance of the song about little ducks?"

Every time I get a postcard from your brother, I regret that I carved him out of driftwood.

Old Man Journal

Old cold warriors home: 'By god, I'll tell you who was soft on communism. . .'

'I must admit, this family reunion hasn't really lived up to my expectations.'

"Gentlemen, on my signal, walk ten paces, turn around, and try to remember why you came out here."

Bookshop: Closed, Coming Soon Here Internet Cafe.

Eddie longed for the days when kids played at recess instead of waiting for YouTube moments.

Cinderella mopping up

'How kids really saw Mr Robinson in computer classes.'

"This house has been in my family for a considerable period of time."

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

'Humph! When I was your age, I had to do my homework in front of a black and white.'

'I'm so glad this bedtime story comes in audio.'

Warning: Contents may settle over time.

They all thought they'd be astronauts...instead they're all accountants.

'Dad's old school teacher was really strict. He still has to go back every night, to finish his detention!'

Bertie Wooster type teaching a parrot to talk