Nose Expert T-Shirts

"Our mistress is a florist you see, so it's fun to sniff her when she gets home to guess which flowers are in season..."

"Okay! Okay! It's a draw!"

A consumer guide to cheese.

"I'm thinking considerably longer. How about you, Alan?"

He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up.

'Your tooth still sensitive to hot liquids my dear?'

Optician: 'I can't seem to switch off.'

"Gesundheit."

'I don't know why babies always want to pull my nose.'

"FYI, we still practice brown nosing here."

"Reduce my ears? No, I want to make my nose bigger!"

'What an AMAZING display!'

Plastic Surgeon Kid

'The aurora borealis. Which is why you should never name something with your mouth full.'

"Your best bet is photoshop."

Plastic surgeon's here.

'You had a long nap.'

'Mmm...it's got a good nose on it.'

Pinocchio finally takes the plunge.

'...and if it's a girl we'll call her Ripley...'

"Oops."

I've had allergies all my life. How about you, Randy? Never, little buddy. HOJ. A speck of pollen once tried to enter my left nostril but was swiftly humbled by my natural defenses. I come from a long line of Randies who were gifted with nose hairs that have the tensile strength of iron and the stopping-power of barbed wire. Word quickly spread from pollen to pollen, and now they never even dare. If Obamacare covers nose-hair transplants, would you be willing ... ?

'Oog has a nose for trees with fermented fruit.'

Sorry out of numbers.

Neti Potheads

'I hope his headcold doesn't go to his chest.'

Why People With Long Noses Shouldn't Smoke.

'Now that's what I call a Roman nose!'

Deviated Septum

"I've mainly been working on my nose."

`"...wouldn't it be easier to ask the cartoonist of this strip to draw you a more decent nose?"

How to be sure you really like that baby name.

"A John Barrymore nose wouldn't be a problem, but I'm afraid the fact that you've been designated a landmark would."

To counteract the pub bore Al cultivated the ancient art of sleeping with his eyes open.

Now they're what I call cavities!