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No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

Dentist's Office: 'I know that $3,280 hurt you more than it did me, Dad.'

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

"My approach is nontraditional, but from a uniquely Western perspective."

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

Floss Street Vendor

'I don't like the mediciney taste of this mouthwash either. I hate that taste of eyes of newt and turtle brains first thing in the morning.'

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

The inscription says: 'Whiter teeth; fresher breath.'

'You're not supposed to use 'dental floss' on dentures!'

'...your teeth are putting on weight.'

'I still have all my own teeth.'

'Mind that molar, careful of that canine...'

Grassy breath?

'I don't know why babies always want to pull my nose.'

'Most of the dental floss gets thrown out on used. No wonder I'm always broke.'

'You should have come to me sooner.'

Maternity nurse presenting newborn baby with big nose to father with big nose.

"Reduce my ears? No, I want to make my nose bigger!"

'I used some of that stripy toothpaste. Now I have striped teeth!'

"If you won't brush or floss could you at least run your tongue over your teeth once in a while?"

Dentist as Sherlock Holmes investigating a patient's mouth

' ... plus you need to floss better.'

"Thanks, Doc- you've put me back in business."

"Don't get too excited. Getting a filling does not make you a cyborg."

'I know! He has the worst breath!'

'You need to chuck more wood.'

Toothbrush Superhero.

"So, you see, what you were really looking for was a deeper connection with your father, and not the dentist's office down the hall."

Plastic Surgeon Kid

'Says here that you broke your tooth while eating a human. Sorry sir, but accidents that happen during 'food-for-fun' are not covered under your dental plan.'

'I need a new tooth brush.'

'-and who's next?'

"Your best bet is photoshop."