Nose Critic T-Shirts

Pinocchio finally takes the plunge.

"Instead of singing, I'm going to scream offensive things as loud as I can just to get attention..."

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

'The suspense is killing us. Which one is our grandchild?'

In case of overcrowding in the ER break glass.

"Let's go on vacation, get disappointed, complain about prices, read terrible novels, buy trashy souvenirs, miss the dog and look forward to coming home."

"I'm thinking considerably longer. How about you, Alan?"

Why used clothing should be declared a dangerous weapon...

'I don't know why babies always want to pull my nose.'

If students are more than a test score why aren't teachers?

"Reduce my ears? No, I want to make my nose bigger!"

Plastic Surgeon Kid

"Your best bet is photoshop."

'Let's be frank. Perky isn't right for you.'

Plastic surgeon's here.

'Mmm...it's got a good nose on it.'

Don't you puff your vape at me

"Oops."

"Yes, we need someone to test a run of facial tissue. What makes you qualified?"

"I tho tired."

'Oog has a nose for trees with fermented fruit.'

Man: 'Could you do something about these glasses? They keep slipping down the bridge of my nose.'

My nose is dripping like a tap!

'Now that's what I call a Roman nose!'

Why People With Long Noses Shouldn't Smoke.

'The only thing he brought back from Earth is their annoying cell phone technology.'

"How dare you be noisy during siesta time, young man!!"

"Look...your school mailed its new student dress code. It says no skullcaps...no facial piercings...no sagging or torn pants...and no bare midriffs. Sorry...that last one was just for girls."

`"...wouldn't it be easier to ask the cartoonist of this strip to draw you a more decent nose?"

"I've mainly been working on my nose."

"It is a truth universally acknowledged that every person in possession of a negative opinion must be in want of a keyboard."

A head and shoulders of a little man

"A John Barrymore nose wouldn't be a problem, but I'm afraid the fact that you've been designated a landmark would."

"Our mistress is a florist you see, so it's fun to sniff her when she gets home to guess which flowers are in season..."

What McWit lacks in speed, he gains in nose.