Brown Nosing Expert T-Shirts

"FYI, we still practice brown nosing here."

"WHich one is mine?"

"It's something new I've been trying. Social scientists call it 'Productive Disagreement.'"

"Ha! Today we informed the boss about our rights!"

'Will you stop! You know that freaks me out!'

A consumer guide to cheese.

"I said, the brewery has rather overdone the ambiance in here..."

That's a good question, Ossie... may I call you 'Ossie', Ossie?

"It would help if you brown-nosed a little more."

'He's called that, because he keeps getting licked.'

'He's a sniffer dog-trained to sniff out dope.'

Bird watching in Bolivia

"I do a lot for charity but I don't like to talk about it. . ."

'Curses! My eyes were closed.'

Walk the dog.

"We're convinced you'll make a lousy senior partner, but you beat everybody else in the brownnosing department."

"Reduce my ears? No, I want to make my nose bigger!"

'According to this load analysis, we're overweight by one hundred and fifty pounds. Any suggestions?'

'I wonder if they KNOW about each other?'

Plastic Surgeon Kid

'I Egret that I will have to decline.'

"I hate having my calls monitored."

'Sometimes, it's good to get a different perspective.'

'I've been thinking a lot about what you said yesterday - but, I guess I say that about everything everyone says, everyday.'

Plastic surgeon's here.

Manna from heaven puts the olfactory talents of Israel's dogs to the test.'

Good news! The test results are back, and everything sniffed out just fine.

'Now's a good time to get a feel for your negotiating skills.'

'Mmm...it's got a good nose on it.'

'...and if it's a girl we'll call her Ripley...'

'I know there are worms around here somewhere...I just can't put my finger on it. Probably because I don't have one.'

Wild Bird Sanctuary

I've had allergies all my life. How about you, Randy? Never, little buddy. HOJ. A speck of pollen once tried to enter my left nostril but was swiftly humbled by my natural defenses. I come from a long line of Randies who were gifted with nose hairs that have the tensile strength of iron and the stopping-power of barbed wire. Word quickly spread from pollen to pollen, and now they never even dare. If Obamacare covers nose-hair transplants, would you be willing ... ?

"Oops."

An eye for an eye for an eye for....