Whispering Expert T-Shirts

"I said, the brewery has rather overdone the ambiance in here..."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Children's Parties

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"Quick, start the car!"

Dog Dreams

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

'You know too much!'

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

"That is an outrageous slur."

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"

'The forest is so dark and gloomy: It's nice to reach the emergence and get a bit of sunshine...'

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

"...and that growl has turned many a hunter into vegetarians!"

"This never happened."

'Can you play something the dog doesn't know?'

Sign in Lion Enclosure: 'Please Don't Eat the People.'

"Look. They say sit, you sit. They say roll over, you roll over. Where's the prob?"

"Hm, still sky high. Let's try the other arm."

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

'Polly wants a cracker! Fetch!'