Whispering Strategist T-Shirts

'Shh … I guess it's a macho thing, but just don't mention the accident with little Jimmy's model airplane.'

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"Try to get him away from that bloody whip...Pass it on."

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

"Saturn. No contest. A deadly, treacherous gas giant ringed by a gossamer halo of ice. It symbolizes both death and life. Both evil and good. It symbolizes existence itself."

"My mommy suggested I try a different advertising approach."

'Oh, I HATE IT when he does that thing with his mouth...TALKING!'

"And when conventional theories don't work, we've got Charnier here to do us a spot of voodoo marketing."

'Social media makes things so much easier to be a gossip."

'No, Bob, I haven't noticed you haven't spoken to me in 3 days... I just thought we were getting along.'

'It's a silent protest.'

"I said, the brewery has rather overdone the ambiance in here..."

'Work the jab! Move your feet! Attack, attack, attack! ...But be careful. He's got a human shield.'

"I'm in advertising. . ."

Business head.

"The answer isn't more troops—what you need is an antibiotic."

'We need someone on the outside.'

'You really have no idea what you're doing do you?'

"Timing is everything. I recommend that you act now before the authorities discover I've escaped."

"Daddy's going of to defeat terrorism in subtler, economic ways."

"I gave him 'the old one two' just like you told me to. But then he gave me 'the old three four'."

Model Stealth Bomber.

"I'd fire him in a minute, but the old man thinks we need his unique perspective around here."

'Are you sure this is the best strategy to find new customers?'

"Our manager is young enough to have fresh new ideas!"

"I thought I knew evil, but you have to hand it to these advertising guys."

312 - Eat A Lot On The First Date

'OK champ, remember this guy is supposed to have a big left.'

The Land of the Uncomfortable Pause

Small Talk Outlet

"Palmer, I want you to see to the legwork; Moscowitz, you'll be my eyes and ears."