Non-sequitur Humor Lover Gifts

Car carrier trailer doubles as school bus.

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Look! No hands!"

Crap from the future.

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

Gardening Calendar: January - The Snow will be deep now...get out into the garden...

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

The Hammer

"You are still here."

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

Public footpath on a desert island.

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

Honest Voting Stickers

The Monroe Doctrine

'Where Are They Now?'

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

Anti-inflammation recipes

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

"Ah...summer...and umbrellas as far as you can see...it reminds me of England!"

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

Before disposing of useless information please make file copies.

'You're a good man, Henderson, but you don't have your staff's respect.'

Think tanks.

Evil Henchman Gets a Promotion.

"Bad news. Our heads aren't lightbulbs."

Our large economy size packet hasn't been selling...it's too big to carry home.

Suggestions and Cheap Shots.

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

"I'll have dessert first."