Noise Machine Fan Gifts

'I don't know what he gets up to in there, but it keeps him busy.' (Noises are recorded, man reads paper, has beer.)

"What old school? This is my life."

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

Mum has a bad judgement day - Well OK, you can take it to your room as long as you play it quietly.

Bagpipes in the bath.

he used to belong to a cartoonist

"Our kids may like your giant soundbar, but the neighbors seem to have a different opinion."

'He was a barman before he got into the demolition game.'

'Dear, the good doctor appears to have misplaced my file. Can you fax over your copy?'

'He's not in now. This is his secwatawy.'

French Animal Noises.

"Darren Eggleston. I saw that!"

"I think he may have progressed beyond just digging holes!!"

"My, it feels good to sit down."

'What are you going to be when you grow up. . . if the neighbours let you?'

'I offer a service to combat your employees' afternoon drowsiness.'

'Yo, Danny! The pitcher's complaining about the crowd noise. Turn it down!'

Making noise in the cinema

'Bob, I was just trying to get you on the phone to see what all that noise outside was about.'

"Primal scream therapy drawbacks."

A Protractor.

'The bass has shattered the windows in all my neigbor's homes. They hate me, but they like my car.'

"I can practice a different song."

'Voila! Pre-plucked turkey!'

Person playing the cymbals.

'This is my little brother -- He believes in freedom of screech.'

"This coin must be 2,000 years old. Try not to put this one in a pop machine."

Soccer Fans.

'Look out lads. They've got vuvuzelas!'

Auditions: To Perform at Metro Stations Today.

Bad Violinist.