Nocturnal Ponderer Gifts

"Ask not for whom the refrigerator hums..."

"Please help me, doc! I can sleep at night!"

"She asked what kind of a creature comes out at night after we're asleep, and I said Santa. What's wrong with that?"

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"You go on in, I’m just going to catch up with the moon for a few minutes."

"Why bother?"

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

That midnight hour when fleeting memories come home to roost.

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

Ghost puddle

Pachyderm insomnia.

'When we bought this place we thought we'd only be making wine. Apparently, we're also into spirits.'

"Hey, Bob. Things haven't been quite the same since Richard Attenborough arrived here, have they?"

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

'You can fill your teddy bear with stuffing or with a demonic spirit summoned from the nether regions.'

"If the universe is expanding, that's all the more reason to get back to the city."

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

"I don't see HIS name on it."

'Mummy, can you please pull the curtain and make it dark please? I'm scared of the light...'

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

Progress?

"Ok, you were right – dogs can see ghosts."

"Goodnight, Dan, you handsome devil!"

'Scientists agree the universe is expanding - Mendenhall is trying to find out where the financing is coming from.'

'No, this is area 50...Area 51 is over that way...'

"If the universe is expanding by 3 trillion cubic light years per second, why can't I find an apartment?"

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

'Turn your thinking cap around, Robert.'

'Harnessing the Black Hole.'

"Now we're really in trouble!!! It's the Power Walking Dead!!!"

"I'm sensing an awkward presence."

Of course I believe your 'Alien Abduction' story...

"I'm afraid Larry sleeps with more than just the fishes."