Noah's Ark Gifts

"Poughkeepsie!"

The advent of profanity: Noah to 3 monkeys: 'Only pairs are allowed on my ark, so one of you has to go!'

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

"I've told you before one at each end!"

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

The Reason Ed isn't mentioned in the bible.

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

"It doesn't say, Son, whether or not Noah wore a captain's hat."

'Noah, before you leave we'd like to have a word with you!'

'Dad. I have a stow-a-way to report!'

'I'm building an ark because the polar ice caps are melting.'

'I don't know, son. I suppose the three little kittens and the three little pigs drew straws.'

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

Noah's fridge

The chosen few

Bird Messaging

'I don't know, son, if Noah was an animal lover. I imagine he started out that way.'

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

Jurassic Ark

Climate Change Contingency House

"I say we throw the damn things overboard."

Noah's ark is a Hummer.

"We'll see you soon, kids! Your mother and I have won a romantic cruise for two on some man's huge ark."

'Look, thanks for your concern, but I think a flood is something we can cope with!'

Animals crossing (to get to the Ark).

"Ralph, have you noticed the other pairs are male and female?"

"This is a good time to be a fish."

'I must have pressed enter twice.'

"Well, there's still lots of water around, but alternate-side-of-the-street parking regulations have been suspended indefinitely."

'What with global warming and all, I'm sure he'll come down on his asking price.'