No-nonsense Nanny Pillows

"Mrs. Jennings, can Billy come out and smoke?"

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Madonna of the Pukes.

Cry babies.

"Look Mommy, hat!"

The Baby Walker

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

'The child is very illogical'

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

"I'm bored."

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

'I'm on my way!'

'I think I'll take her to the zoo today.'

Rockabye Baby- $10/hour.

'Of course I put my kids first! Look at how much I pay the nanny!!'

'Doorbell. Must be the sitter.'

Fitness Programme for babies

"I had to skip my workout."