No-nonsense Nanny Gifts

"Mrs. Jennings, can Billy come out and smoke?"

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Madonna of the Pukes.

Cry babies.

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

The Baby Walker

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

"Look Mommy, hat!"

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

'The child is very illogical'

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

"I'm bored."

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

Fertility goddess. Nanny goddess.

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

'I'm on my way!'

'I think I'll take her to the zoo today.'

'Of course I put my kids first! Look at how much I pay the nanny!!'

Rockabye Baby- $10/hour.

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

'Doorbell. Must be the sitter.'