Nanny Gifts

'Sweetie, when we leave you every day with Sarah, we're doing it for you. That way we can have successful careers and you can be proud of us.'

'To err is human. To really mess up, we've got to do some planning.'

"Now we'll need a sitter for New Year's Eve."

'She just came down the stairs without walking.'

Changing the baby.

'I'm on my way!'

"They can't see you right now - would you like a bottle while you're waiting?"

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

'He's been having temper tantrums. Can you recommend a good anger management course?'

Cry babies.

'Of course I put the children first! Look how much I pay their nanny.'

'The child is very illogical'

'I'm just saying if our nanny can afford a nanny then we're paying too much.'

'Take a letter,'

Frank and I had such a wonderful evening alone. Thanks for watching our lil' angels on such short notice. I know th- Andrea... What are the kids still doing up?

'Sorry lady, can't help you: Yes, I can herd pretty much anything, but not cats, and certainly not kittens...'

"Of course, we love you. Hasn't Maria told you?"

Quality Time

'I think I'll take her to the zoo today.'

"I'll gather. Oog will hunt. And you'll invent daycare."

Parent problems..

"I'm bored."

Babysitter's list of 'Useful Numbers'.

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'If you've got a problem with the way I run things around here, take it up with my nanny.'

"You wouldn't smack the new underclass would you nanny?"

Nanny with children on leash

Rockabye Baby- $10/hour.

'There are four reasons for him to cry...he's hungry, he's wet, a pin is sticking him, or he wants to wake you up from a sound sleep.'

"but I thought I had another, an older one."

'Of course I put my kids first! Look at how much I pay the nanny!!'

Supernanny telling a child 'No'. Parents - 'Wow! What an amazing supernanny!'

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

Today's Babysitter

'You know I'd take the blame kid, but I'm still on shakey ground over that carpet incident.'