Nickname Connoisseur T-Shirts

'Hey, nice to finally meet you Vickie. . . Let me guess. . . You don't like being called 'Vickie'.'

Reading my Critics

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

Men gossiping

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

"Don't worry your majesty, they can't see you, this is a one way mirror."

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

Malcolm Sargent

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'Why do they call these conventions when everyone here is so unconventional?'

"I thought he was into fitness, but his 'fitness tracker' turned out to be a flea and tick collar."

'Don't worry it's organic...'

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

Inaction Figure

Pisa Hut.

"Dr. Livingstone will see you now."

S**t Threw a Goose

Man frozen in portrait pose.

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

'The first cocktail.'

"Shouldn't there be some sort of pecking order around here?"

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

Litteratti K9s.