Nh.s. Worker Gifts

'Unleaded essential users only, police, fire, rubber dingy salesmen'

"Nation-building never works."

Woman carries the world.

'Stop saying 'how high?' until I say 'jump'.'

'Call me in the morning. In the afternoon, I'm out in the field.'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

'Now, remember...let me do the talking.'

Off Duty.

Now may not be a good time,he just found out he's not going to live forever.

Advances in Third World Healthcare

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

Around here it got a little tricky...

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

World Hunger Conference.

Job Safety - Hardhat.

"The boss expects us all to be robots."

'Jones, I don't like you because it's so hard to find something to blame you for!'

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

"Come to think of it, I can't think of the last time I saw a monarch around here."

'Look, I said I'd bring you the report on micromanaging. Just give me a chance.'

'What makes you think we have a radiation leak?'

"I'm not asking for a raise. All I'm asking for is a little warmth and human understanding."

'Only another thirty-four years, five months and fourteen days until I retire.'

'A word in my office Jones.'

'He always has your back - - - but it's mostly to step on.'

Boss and worker communicating in exclaimation marks.

The boss is truly a courageous risk-taker. Only he tasted the salmon mousse at last year's company picnic.

"He's in a meeting, but you have 25 seconds to leave a video message."

'I can assure you we take privacy concerns very seriously. Now, on your way out, shut the bloody door.'

Corporate Cafeteria. I don't care how many toppings you pizza has --- eating it is not multitasking!

Hirer to employee handing him lighted hat: 'You'll be starting at the bottom.'

The boss yells at me whenever I try to think outside the box! He's giving you some constrictive criticism!

"Another organization has already researched this, but I'm afraid that if we use it, we won't get as much credit."