Nh.s. Worker Pillows

'Unleaded essential users only, police, fire, rubber dingy salesmen'

"Nation-building never works."

Woman carries the world.

'Stop saying 'how high?' until I say 'jump'.'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

'Call me in the morning. In the afternoon, I'm out in the field.'

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

Now may not be a good time,he just found out he's not going to live forever.

Off Duty.

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

Around here it got a little tricky...

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

'Jones, I don't like you because it's so hard to find something to blame you for!'

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

Job Safety - Hardhat.

World Hunger Conference.

"Come to think of it, I can't think of the last time I saw a monarch around here."

"The boss expects us all to be robots."

'Look, I said I'd bring you the report on micromanaging. Just give me a chance.'

'What makes you think we have a radiation leak?'

"I'm not asking for a raise. All I'm asking for is a little warmth and human understanding."

'Only another thirty-four years, five months and fourteen days until I retire.'

'A word in my office Jones.'

'I can assure you we take privacy concerns very seriously. Now, on your way out, shut the bloody door.'

'He always has your back - - - but it's mostly to step on.'

"He's in a meeting, but you have 25 seconds to leave a video message."

Are you nodding yes, or nodding off?

The boss is truly a courageous risk-taker. Only he tasted the salmon mousse at last year's company picnic.

Hirer to employee handing him lighted hat: 'You'll be starting at the bottom.'

Boss and worker communicating in exclaimation marks.

"Another organization has already researched this, but I'm afraid that if we use it, we won't get as much credit."