News Discussion Gifts

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

"That's five votes for In The Midst of Winter....three votes for The Hollow Ground....and, again, one vote for Moby-Dick."

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

"Do you think the flat earth society has members round the globe?"

"No es problema para mi si no es problema para ti."

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

"Yes, could you discuss the inspiration for the protagonist? Specifically, the motivations which propel the direction of his narrative?" "I would prefer not to." "Bartleby, the author."

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

"To be honest, I'm leaving public service so I can make some real money as a talking head on a cable news network."

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

"This next song I wrote I won't sing due to political correctness."

"I have to admit Dick Cheney makes a strong argument for torture. But I still think torturing him would be wrong."

Spelling a newspaper

'To avoid possible schism, a period of careful reflection is needed before changing the light-bulb.'

'Apparently our postcode qualifies us for Government sponsored loft insulation.'

'Have you heard about the new Medicare drug plan called plan C? Medicare gives you $30 for a bus ticket to Canada!'

"He's Right Behind Me, Isn't He?"

"I don'y know about you guys, but I don't feel like I've lost one goddamn bit of my feminity."

"It's time we have a talk about the alternate facts of life.

"Sorry, I don't have an opinion - just in case I get vilified on social media. . ."

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'