Novel Discussion Gifts

"That's five votes for In The Midst of Winter....three votes for The Hollow Ground....and, again, one vote for Moby-Dick."

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

"Do you think the flat earth society has members round the globe?"

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

Writers without borders.

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

"So start throwing together about 10 novels a week and bring them in on Wednesdays."

"Still suffering from writer's block?"

"No es problema para mi si no es problema para ti."

Günter Grass

"So, what are you reading?"

'It'll never work. I'm reading 'Of Mice And men' and you haven't even gotten through 'If You Give A Mouse A Cookie,.'

'Your night writing book, madam.'

Fish or Cut Bait

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'