Literature Discussions Gifts

At Mary Higgins Clark's book club.

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

"That's five votes for In The Midst of Winter....three votes for The Hollow Ground....and, again, one vote for Moby-Dick."

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

"Yes, could you discuss the inspiration for the protagonist? Specifically, the motivations which propel the direction of his narrative?" "I would prefer not to." "Bartleby, the author."

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

Spelling a newspaper

'To avoid possible schism, a period of careful reflection is needed before changing the light-bulb.'

Frontispiece to 'The Pickwick Papers'

"I don'y know about you guys, but I don't feel like I've lost one goddamn bit of my feminity."

"I just completely disagree with what you just said about America lacking focus."

'How are we supposed to think the unthinkable if we have to drink the drinkable?'

Hi, I work at the admissions office of the local university. If you could change the world in three days, what would you do?

"Let's just drop it, Andrew, and leave it to future historians to decide which of us was right."

'What did He do before he was God?'

Miss Jellyby

"Certainly. A party of four at seven-thirty in the name of Dr. Jennings. May I ask whether that is an actual medical degree or a Ph.D.?"

'Big Issue...'

"Did I say Henny Youngmen? I meant to say Sergei Prokofiev."

Huge support for focus groups etc but nobody at the political meeting

"The problem is: reasonable men may differ on what the hell reason is!"

'Edward de Vere? -- give me a break!'

Uni. Snowflake Library

'Crisis? Which crisis?'

"I hate arguing with someone who knows what they're talking about."

"Free speech" does not mean your ignorance is equivalent to our knowledge!

THE UNCANNY PREDICTIONS OF THE GREAT NOWSTRADAMUS, 'A prominent academic will suggest that females may be intrinsically emotionally different from males... and the feminists will become hysterical.

"Oh I don't think it's as bad as all that. In fact, I think we're in the golden age of something which we won't even realize it's the golden age of until many years from now."

"Hey Dad? Are we still atheists?"

'It's been a few hundred years, gentlemen... I think it's finally time to admit that forks are better.'

"Oh, that Jane. I thought you were talking about Jane Austen."