News Delivery Gifts

"Thank goodness Edwin got a paper route to help pay for prescriptions not covered by Medicare."

Trial by Media

Food deliverer's baby.

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

Newspaper suicide.

Netanyahu versus Gantz

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

'Wow, I sure got a lot of mail today!'

'Grrrr....'

Dog bringing paper and paper boy.

"Bad news on Wall Street today, as the bottom fell out of the market, the sides collapsed, and the top blew away."

"According to my phone, society is on the brink of collapse, but, according to our living room, things seem pretty O.K."

It's 10 P.M. does anyone know what 'sequestration' means?

"I needed a gig to tide me over between baby booms."

Fake News - Tabloid News - State-run News - Free Press

I'm in the den mom, reading the newspaper for social studies class.

"Times were hard for old Sid....He had to get a part-time job!"

"There's the mailman!"

News and Magazines. Record Debt. Dollar Down. How can the dollar be weak when we've been giving it such a good workout?

'Read ALL about IT! In other less TRASHIER Newspapers!'

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'Forget about 'who,what,when,where,why,how'...Instead 'Will it sell papers...attract advertisers?'

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

Farmer reads newspaper headline 'Drought Hits Midwest'; sees sand dunes and camel caravan through window.

'I don't think I could have picked a tougher line of work.'

'So, what are the terms of use?'

"Social service teams are claiming that they can't recruit workers because of the vicious, biased reports we write about them!"

Beware of the dog.

These remarks are completely off the record

"Sorry for the wait - I hope it wasn't too long."

"Take off your mailman's uniform before you return home. We have a new dog."

Man reading on top of giant pencil being carried by others.