Following The News Gifts

As an electrician, watching TV news has been an effecive safety precaution. Nothing shocks me anymore.

'...And our extended forecast calls for one #!@*!! thing after another.'

'It's stress related. Stop watching the Jodi Arias and George Zimmerman trials.'

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

How a Bill Becomes a Law, 2023

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

New Flavors at Where's the Scoop Ice Cream

"I'm going to miss it when they stop warning us"

"Yes, we voted remain - how did you guess?"

'Son, voting isn't a rational procedure by which one strategically selects an electable candidate who will best serve your interests. Voting is an emotional response to your gut level fears!'

'The only cuts we can all agree with are their cutting remarks!'

Donald Trump Tells a Joke...

Netanyahu versus Gantz

After defeating terror, George and his friends declare war on mild irritation and clouds.

"I know he's funny, boy, but he’s also the president of the United States."

US election postal vote controversy

Journalism student ponders which course he wants to major in.

As you can see, media coverage at this event is very heavy...

"Our next story should interest all our viewers...it's a real can of worms."

It's 10PM. Do you know who is in control of Pakistan's nukes?

The search for Weapons of Mass Destruction

Best Seller in Washington D.C.: Politics for dummies

"It's the new Trump Tower..."

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

"Ok, ok, climate change is not a hoax!"

BREAKING FAKE NEWS

'Of students surveyed, 64% prefer English and 32% prefer math. The fact that these numbers do not add up to 100 may help explain why.'

"I find wearing a mask helps."

"Bad news on Wall Street today, as the bottom fell out of the market, the sides collapsed, and the top blew away."

'The Federal Government today authorized a ten-year study of all its five-year studies.'