Following World News Gifts

"I think whatever's going to happen next has already happened."

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

"Yes, we voted remain - how did you guess?"

'Son, voting isn't a rational procedure by which one strategically selects an electable candidate who will best serve your interests. Voting is an emotional response to your gut level fears!'

After defeating terror, George and his friends declare war on mild irritation and clouds.

Preliminary Price Tag: $5,000,000,000

Covid Lab Theory

The search for Weapons of Mass Destruction

Libyan Crude Oil

"It's the new Trump Tower..."

"You are responsible for the refugee crisis!"

'In a Washington economic summit, a panel of three economists offered two dozen opinions about the direction of global economics.'

'Democracy, okay?'

"I'm a stable genius!"

"Worst budget cuts ever!"

Trump Tariffs

'Today, emerging market funds rose on news the American dream is alive and well in Thailand, Singapore, China. . .'

Hard Border

Japanese economic policies advocated by Shinzo Abe.

"This is for walking the fine line: Not discouraging Russia from joining the fight against ISIS...but out not showing support for Syria."

"So in conclusion it's an absolute sh*t show... That'll be £450 million please."

Saudi Arabian oil attacks increase price

"Victory!"

'So...who do you think you will vote for?'

Putin Holds The World Hostage

"Gentlemen, I'm afraid things are worse than we thought."

"Get a move on Hardwicke, we need it for the 6 o'clock news!"

'It's the NEW Chinese Stock Market Report.'

"You've increased your prices again! Why?" "Take your pick..."

'... and in a startling development, 5 Supreme Court decisions were overturned by Judge Judy...'

'So Chief Executive how can you justify this new increase in gas prices?'