Global News Gifts

'A World energy crisis is looming' "I blame the billions in the 3rd world wanting to get what we've got!"

'It's the NEW Chinese Stock Market Report.'

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

Squeezing the Free Press.

They're Not Just That Into It

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

Trump pardons

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

"I can't decide what I fear the most, Putin's Russia or Putin's America."

The interested bystanders.

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

USAID Octopus Wrapping Around Globe

Difference of Opinion

Meet the Enemy

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

"We won!"

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

CIA report

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

Laughingstock

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

A little bird told me...

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'