News Following Gifts

US election 2020 ballot box Trump v Biden

"He's out there campaigning while I'm in here quarantining."

Tax Dodgers of the Rich and Famous.

'Campaign fatigue? No, I'm excited to be here in the great state of North Braska!'

"Get a move on Hardwicke, we need it for the 6 o'clock news!"

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated.

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

Laughingstock

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

"America’s leaders since 1980"

"Yes, we voted remain - how did you guess?"

New Flavors at Where's the Scoop Ice Cream

SAGE mentality

'Son, voting isn't a rational procedure by which one strategically selects an electable candidate who will best serve your interests. Voting is an emotional response to your gut level fears!'

'The only cuts we can all agree with are their cutting remarks!'

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

US election postal vote controversy

Donald Trump Tells a Joke...

Vladimir Putin Pulling Trump Across The Table By His Tie

After defeating terror, George and his friends declare war on mild irritation and clouds.

'...and this time Gerald, don't refer to the RBS as the Ripoff Bonus Scheme!'

"It's the new Trump Tower..."

"There-there-all those countries...all those protesters...it's nothing personal...wait a minute! I think it is!"

A world divided by the war

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

The Republican's Plan One: No Obama!

"Ok, ok, climate change is not a hoax!"

Statue of Security

No Cheap Fuel Ahead: Easy Street Ends.

"Our next story should interest all our viewers...it's a real can of worms."

The search for Weapons of Mass Destruction

"He's only been president a few months. Just give hima little time."

"I wanted to always play it down. I still like playing it down because I don’t want to create a panic."

"And I thought I was toxic. . ."