News Critique Fan Gifts

CBS documentation claiming George Bush is an alien.

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

Trump Poutine

"It lost a little something in translation."

"I'm Lester Holt, and this, is date night."

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

Charities should investigate whether published reports are 'Misleadingly Positive'.

Rumors, lies and innuendo.

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

"Political cartoons that make people think? Are you crazy? We don't want to distract our readers from the weather forecast, the horoscope and the advertisements!"

"What kind of politician would I be if I didn't politicize this crisis?"

Privatized Jails

Fiscal cliff

The Calmocracy

Victims of War

"Suppose we leave the salary unchanged but get smaller women."

"Tell me again. Is this guy the newsman or the newsmaker?"

'If they're so darn 'fair and balance,' why are all the reporters people?'

"A man threatens to destroy town with army of turtles after dispute with city hall. Local authorities initiate a shell-ter in place in preparation for the noc-turtle invasion."

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

"Three years running 'fake news' websites? You're just what we're looking for!"

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

"In financial news, Greek shares continue their slide. Of note, International Feta Cheese continues to crumble."

Pop star weather report.

Tony Blair in the morning and George Bush in the afternoon. Lulu and Stan were having a good day.

Lose the Iraq War.

You know what I like best about fake news, Randy? It can be crazy and have shady sources and be obviously nothing but nonsense, and it'll still be believed. Like that fake story about Saddam Hussein and those weapons of mass destruction and stuff. Fake news is only "fake news" if it's not from people who say they're real news. You can't tell me Wolf Blitzer's beard is real.

LEV Trump

"Let him who is without 'spin' cast the first stone."

'That was the worst performance I've ever seen.'

Dear Sadie, How come there never seems to be any penality for pundits who turn out to be wrong all the time?

Obey the Book or be damned!

LIBERAL MEDIA POLLS, 'Do you think President Obama is doing a great job, a wonderful job, or an absolutely terrific job?'

'Police have counted the dead resulting from today's disaster. However, they suspect that some of these victims may be just playing possum.'

Fake News, 50 cents.