Press Critique Fan Gifts

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"It lost a little something in translation."

Charities should investigate whether published reports are 'Misleadingly Positive'.

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

'And this will be our strategic plan for the coming year.'

Golden parachutes inc. - 'Our pleas for bail-out funds were ignored.'

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

'We can't get rid of her - she has tenure.'

Privatized Jails

"Recent research has yielded some frightening results...It turns out we are a business team held forever on a presentation chart, locked away in a supply closet."

"You know, maybe he's not the small-business man he claims to be."

The NHS begins using outside contractors for routine operations.

'Warren buffett invests only in things he understands...my view is that politicians should regulate only things they understand!'

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

The Calmocracy

'To placate the public, we've done away with the cash bonuses and have found another way to compensate you.'

President Grant denies Ambitions for 3rd Term- A 'Blighting Effect' on Newspaper Editors

"Suppose we leave the salary unchanged but get smaller women."

"When we have COVID under control you'll be rewarded for saving us, we won't forget how much we owe you."

"Do we wait for it to be approved as an antibiotic, or do we go ahead right now and sell it as furniture polish?"

Obey the Book or be damned!

"Wow, we're doing great."

Tony Blair in the morning and George Bush in the afternoon. Lulu and Stan were having a good day.

'We don't believe in treating people like a number. Here, you'll be treated like a slave.'

The Jeremy Corbyn Smear-Athon

"I'm looking for someone who's qualified to cover my mistakes."

LIBERAL MEDIA POLLS, 'Do you think President Obama is doing a great job, a wonderful job, or an absolutely terrific job?'

"A non-gorenment organization? There is such a thing?"

"I've got a couple of tickets for Wild Bill's 'Wild West Show'.. only $800 each!"

'How do you like the new incentive scheme?'

'I'm a genetically modified fish aimed at the environmentalist market.'

'Okay, the print media convicted you...but trust me, the video media will overturn the verdict.'

"Publicly, we're still saying there are no side effects."

'Exploiting the workers hasn't helped...so we'll have to start screwing them.'

"It's my personal, one step recipe for success. Step 1: Gimme all your money."