Press Critique Fan Pillows

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"It lost a little something in translation."

Charities should investigate whether published reports are 'Misleadingly Positive'.

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

Golden parachutes inc. - 'Our pleas for bail-out funds were ignored.'

'We can't get rid of her - she has tenure.'

Privatized Jails

"Recent research has yielded some frightening results...It turns out we are a business team held forever on a presentation chart, locked away in a supply closet."

"You know, maybe he's not the small-business man he claims to be."

'Warren buffett invests only in things he understands...my view is that politicians should regulate only things they understand!'

The NHS begins using outside contractors for routine operations.

"When we have COVID under control you'll be rewarded for saving us, we won't forget how much we owe you."

President Grant denies Ambitions for 3rd Term- A 'Blighting Effect' on Newspaper Editors

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

"Do we wait for it to be approved as an antibiotic, or do we go ahead right now and sell it as furniture polish?"

"Wow, we're doing great."

'We don't believe in treating people like a number. Here, you'll be treated like a slave.'

Obey the Book or be damned!

Tony Blair in the morning and George Bush in the afternoon. Lulu and Stan were having a good day.

LIBERAL MEDIA POLLS, 'Do you think President Obama is doing a great job, a wonderful job, or an absolutely terrific job?'

"I'm looking for someone who's qualified to cover my mistakes."

"A non-gorenment organization? There is such a thing?"

'Okay, the print media convicted you...but trust me, the video media will overturn the verdict.'

'How do you like the new incentive scheme?'

'I'm a genetically modified fish aimed at the environmentalist market.'

"I've got a couple of tickets for Wild Bill's 'Wild West Show'.. only $800 each!"

"Publicly, we're still saying there are no side effects."

'Exploiting the workers hasn't helped...so we'll have to start screwing them.'

LARGE FRONT

"It's my personal, one step recipe for success. Step 1: Gimme all your money."