Newborn Caretaker Gifts

Daisy Diaper Service

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

A midwife holding a baby

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

"Same old same old. How about you?"

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

Bathing the dog

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

Doughboy Dad

"She's a miniature."

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

'They sure have small litters.'

Juniors Baby Sitting Service.

"Cheers mate, you've done me a solid."

Jonathan was so sleep deprived after the arrival of his baby that he accidentally burped a workmate.

A Dog's Food Pyramid.

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

'Cracked nipple? But I didn't even drop you.'

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

Wild animal - 1,500 years later...

Mime Baby

"Thank goodness for pet doors because the alarm on my piddle clock was about to ring on the rug."

With Wally the hermit crab showing no signs of life, Shirley yields to her kids' pleas and performs mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

"Which one's yours?"

"It's a good boy!"

"That's it - your diet starts tomorrow"

Help me!

Dog Food

'You put him on a diet, so he put you on a diet.'

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"