Infant Caretaker Gifts

Help me!

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

Madonna of the Pukes.

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

Pool attached to child's bed.

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"Same old same old. How about you?"

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

We tried rocking her to sleep, but she still seems tired and cranky.

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

Mother puts extra long dummy in babies mouth.

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

'I'm not too sure about that.'

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

'Off hand I'd say she needs re-stuffing.'

'How's my rabbit settling into his new home? He's still a bit jumpy!'

"That is one absorbent nappy."

"I had to skip my workout."

A postwoman delivers mail together with her baby who is riding in the letter carrier.

'They sure have small litters.'

Don't be surprised --- They always start out as quadrupeds.

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

Juniors Baby Sitting Service.

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

Boy whistling at crackers.

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

"If you're sure your son doesn't mind living in a cage and eating pet food then who am I to say no?"

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

"I wouldn’t say they’re user-friendly."

With Wally the hermit crab showing no signs of life, Shirley yields to her kids' pleas and performs mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?