Infant Caretaker Gifts

Help me!

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

Madonna of the Pukes.

Pool attached to child's bed.

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"Same old same old. How about you?"

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Mother puts extra long dummy in babies mouth.

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

'I'm not too sure about that.'

'How's my rabbit settling into his new home? He's still a bit jumpy!'

"That is one absorbent nappy."

'Off hand I'd say she needs re-stuffing.'

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

"I had to skip my workout."

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

A postwoman delivers mail together with her baby who is riding in the letter carrier.

'They sure have small litters.'

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

Juniors Baby Sitting Service.

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

"If you're sure your son doesn't mind living in a cage and eating pet food then who am I to say no?"

"I wouldn’t say they’re user-friendly."

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

Lazy plumber.