New Parrot Owner Gifts

"He can afford a bigger cage. His old tax forms line the bottom."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

"When is my next parole hearing?"

'You know too much!'

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

"As I was only saying the other day..."

A little bird told me...

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

'Polly wants a cracker! Fetch!'

"I finally gave in, I got sick of hearing, 'Polly want a podcast?... Polly want a podcast!'"

Any idea how long your family might be visiting?

"Best project manager we ever had."

"I don't actually talk, I just mimic sounds."

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

Polly, want a cracker, but Polly need a glass of wine.

'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'

Marcel Marceau's parrot

"He'll only talk when his lawyer's present."

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

'You know darn well 'Aaargh' isn't a real word!'

'You reek of crackers.'

Sorry, I thought you said you wanted to see 'Parrot Normal Activity'

"Well, maybe you want crackers Mum, but frankly, given the choice, I would prefer chocolate cake..."

This historic alpine hut has stood here among the native beech trees for over a century, and may stand for another, often unoccupied by always watched over by that ever playful mountain parrot, the Kea.

"Repeat after me..."

'Oi, call the fire brigade, my foot's stuck.'

'How come I always get the shoulder with the parrot?'

"Service."

Pirates

"You spend far too much time on social media, Joe!"

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."