New Parenting Gifts

"If we both cry they'll become powerless."

'You're grounded... not you, the drone.'

Native American baby in a nursery.

City Zoo: Day Care

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

A young Don King

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

Madonna of the Pukes.

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

Cry babies.

baby sweetcorn...

'I told you it would be useful.'

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'Ahhh...'

The Baby Walker

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

"She's been so creative lately."

Interior design trends for parents....

A midwife holding a baby

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"