New Parenthood Adventurer Gifts

'Hey Kiddo, I think we'll have to stop to change your nappy...'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

Madonna of the Pukes.

"She's been so creative lately."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

A midwife holding a baby

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

Knight feeding his kids.

Rocking horse

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

Trombone emerges from pram. Mother says: 'I'm a firm believer in starting them young.'

'Can you tell me what I've written? I can't read!'

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

A woman with a dog and a baby on a leash

'Strained carrots again! What am I being punished for this time?'

"When did she start crawling?"

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

'and on the Kids' Menu, we have Cranky Pants French Toast...'

Fertility goddess. Nanny goddess.

Ask me about my litter! !

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

"Can Olaf come out to pillage and plunder?"

So I guess the moral of Hansel and Gretel is always carry your cell phone!