New Parenthood Adventurer Pillows

'Hey Kiddo, I think we'll have to stop to change your nappy...'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

Madonna of the Pukes.

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"She's been so creative lately."

A midwife holding a baby

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

Rocking horse

Knight feeding his kids.

Trombone emerges from pram. Mother says: 'I'm a firm believer in starting them young.'

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

'Can you tell me what I've written? I can't read!'

A woman with a dog and a baby on a leash

'Strained carrots again! What am I being punished for this time?'

"When did she start crawling?"

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

So I guess the moral of Hansel and Gretel is always carry your cell phone!

'and on the Kids' Menu, we have Cranky Pants French Toast...'

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."